1. "President Obama & First Lady Michelle Obama went out to lunch one day & suddenly the owner of the restaurant walked over to greet them. The owner kindly introduced himself to the President, then turned & told First Lady, “WOW MICHELLE, YOU STILL LOOK GREAT!” As the owner walked away from the table, the POTUS asked Mrs. Obama, “Someone you know from the past?” Mrs. Obama responded, “Yeah, he had a strong crush on me in high school.” Mr. Obama laughed & said jokingly, “And to think, had you married him, you could’ve been co-owner of this fine restaurant here.” Mrs. Obama looked up & replied, “No, had I married him, he would’ve been President of the United States."
  2. 1q1b: this is so great to me!

    1q1b:

    this is so great to me!

  3. "I am, as I’ve said, merely competent. But in an age of incompetence, that makes me extraordinary."
    Billy Joel

    (Source: 1q1b)

  4. "never trust a girl whose thighs don’t touch…"
    friend of a friend (hilarious to me)

    Accurate!

    (Source: 1q1b)

  5. soulfulandtrue: i’m not but one of my followers will probably like this :)

    soulfulandtrue:

    i’m not but one of my followers will probably like this :)

    (via aprince15)

  6. 1q1b: Cool bathroom doors…not as cool as the dive bar I went to with judy & elroy jetson

    1q1b:

    Cool bathroom doors…not as cool as the dive bar I went to with judy & elroy jetson

  7. That awkward moment when you finally realize God has a plan for you

    getdapicture:

  8. Lessons learned today

    1q1b:

    1. People pay attention AND remember your facebook pics, status updates, crap you write on their wall…no matter how long ago
    2. Unpack fully so I won’t accidentally leave license in luggage at home again
    3. Orange was a good pick for new toe nail color
    4. Old friends are still great. Never be too lazy to go upstairs & say hi…even if it means illegally parking

    That is all :)

  9. getdapicture:

    So even in a racist mind, he’s half right…..

    Never gets old.

  10. The moment you realize Chipotle is giving out free Burritos

    getdapicture:

    Truth

    (Source: joannasimkin)

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Charlyn is...

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